#188 Return to the forbidden mountain, Taipei

Transcript

Oh man, the unpredictability of weather in Asia in the summer. So it's a very early September in Taipei, Taiwan. The weather websites have had extreme heat warnings for weeks and there still is. So today I was just going to stay at home because it's been so insane with the weather. But then I noticed it was kind of less insane today. It was a overcast. Cloudy. So it was only like 34 degrees Celsius where the rest of the week it's like up to 37. Just like yikes. I know if you're a Fahrenheit person, three degrees doesn't sound like a lot, but I mean, I mean it's not, I guess. I don't all take what I can get. I suppose 34 is still insane. It's just, you know, what other option do I have? It's only going to get worse. So I was like, all right, let's go outside and go do something today just in case, in case the rest of the week is even more insane. And if anything because it was so overcast, I thought my biggest problem might be that it would rain. So I came back to this mountain that I was hiking on a few episodes ago where I said there was a 0.0 percent chance of me ever coming back here in the summer because it was so hot. But here I am. So it is, if you get off the brown line in Taipei at Shihu Station, X-I-H-U, and just head a little bit north to the Jin Mianchen Trail, J-I-N-M-I-A-N-S-H-A-N. And I'm just heading up. I think towards something called Scissors Rock maybe. But yeah, this is where I was just standing and looking at the airport and somebody left a cup on the mountain and I wasn't a good enough Samaritan to pick it up right away. I had to look at it a couple of times and as I got right I'll take it. I'm such a good person.

I took a cup off the mountain. Oh, what rolling down the side of my face.

So yeah, by the time I got here, not a bad ride on the train. I have to actually do multiple transfers because the yellow line and the brown line don't connect directly. But it's kind of nice to have some time on the train, did a little bit of riding. It's a great place to do riding because you're just kind of stuck on the train and you're encouraged to take your mind away from being crammed in with all those people. Perfect time to do a little riding. Yeah, by the time I got here, the sky is cleared up. It's gorgeous. It's a beautiful day and it still probably is better than it could have been because at least the first half of the day was clouded over to keep the temperature down. I'm sure this is still better than things will probably be for the rest of the week.

Yeah, at this point it's quarter after three. The sun's in full force, but I just want to hike further up this mountain and see what happens.

Let's see where it goes. And again, though, I guess since the whole point is that the weather's totally unpredictable. Who knows? Who knows what will happen for the rest of the week. But the signs aren't good. And there's a little bit of stuff in the neighborhood I'm in, which is on the yellow line by San Chong station, S-A-N-C-H-O-N-G. There's the big long park there, New Taipei Metropolitan Park. That's pretty nice. That's right by there.

But besides that, I was, because there are mountains in the distance, and it's like cool. Maybe I can try to get to those. But they're pretty far away. They're basically that one mountain in Hanglin, where I went up and saw the amazing view. I think it's just more of that range, that mountain range, and then behind it is just the coast. So I don't know. I don't really know how much is there that you can really do. And the direct neighborhood around where I am is difficult. Lots of overpasses, lots of traffic. Very tough. And apparently it would take me like three hours to walk to the nearest mountain trail. So I think I need to figure out if there's some transit.

I guess there's like a purple line and a blue line. I think that's what I took when I came in from the the other airport. I'm not really sure. Anyway, I decided just to come out here because I've been here before. I know how this works. And further along on the brown line, there's a couple little lakes. If I get a chance, I'll go check those out today too. We'll see. But anyway, just heading up the mountains, wetting my dick off. Got my two bottles of water feeling pretty comfortable, pretty confident that I won't die. One thing too on the way here. So I'm noticed here, it took me a little bit to ensure that this was actually how it worked. But it seems like toilet 5:00 paper generally does not come on a toilet paper roll here. There's the big toilet paper rolls in public washrooms. But all the Airbnb's I've stayed at so far, the toilet paper has always been more like a Kleenex package, you know, just like a little, not a cardboard container like Kleenex comes in, but just a little plastic container, you know, thin plastic with individual sheets in it. And I was thinking about that. It actually kind of makes sense. I mean, I guess the roll is handy for us just because that's how our toilets are set up that you have a place to put the toilet paper roll. But here, I mean, you have to put the little Kleenex style package just on a window sill or something or a side table. But it is less wasteful, like you just get the toilet paper. You don't get an extra cardboard roll in the middle.

It's not a bad method, not a bad idea.

There's the Taipei 101 building, the big observation building, the observation deck building. And it's only a little hazy over there. This is an interesting way to kind of gauge the air pollution level because I didn't check when I left the house. Because you know, it's kind of not worth checking around here in the summer. It's just always kind of bad. Very rarely. It's good, but it's never like insanely terrible. It's just a little bad all this time, generally. But it's been a lot spookier and gloomier looking before. Today, it's clear-ish, relatively clear, actually. Though the more I look at it, I'm like, I don't know. It's just a sign, I guess, of how you just get acclimated. You just, what can you do except, except it. It's all relative because, you know, the other day, things looked so terrible that reminded me of Seoul in the winter, which is the worst air pollution situation I've ever been in. So just the fact that this is way better than that, you know. I don't know.

Yeah, I guess it depends on which end of the spectrum you're starting from. If you start from, oh, what a nice, clear day with clear air than this sucks. But if you start at, it's the fucking apocalypse about to happen. This is a lot better than that. So is the, is the pollution half fuller half empty? But yeah, I do need to buy a little packet of toilet paper at some point, because I met this Airbnb for a month and they just kind of left me with whatever was left. From the last guest, which is only like a quarter of the little toilet paper packet. It's not going to last me too long, but I had an idea today. I walked by one of those claw machine places that are still popping up all over the place. And I was just out of curiosity because the problem with those is it's kind of fun to try a claw machine, but it's just stuff that I can't use. You know, it's just literal garbage for me. But I looked through and I found there actually was one that had tissues, because presumably these things aren't necessarily marketed as toilet paper. They're just tissues. You know, you could use them as Kleenex as well. But I was like awesome. This is an actual thing that I need. And I was thinking that could be fun. What if I just stop in one of the claw machine places every time I see one and just keep trying until I get a toilet paper? Since I actually need toilet paper, it could be like a fun way to buy toilet paper. So I tried that today and it was a good excuse to try the claw machine out, but I think I'm just gonna end up going to buy toilet paper.

So it's a 10 new Taipei dollar coin to use the machine. So that's like 40, 45 cents Canadian for one try. And I only had three of them. So I tried three times. And it's kind of interesting because the claws in Japan are very slow and ponderous. This one was really responsive, really precise and really fast and springy. So I put it right over one of the toilet paper things, hit the button. It went down, perfectly grabbed it, perfectly pulled it upward. I was like, wow, yeah, this thing is not messing with me. It is doing what it's supposed to do. But then I guess because it's so fast, it was so clear, so obvious that it was just deliberately springing open, you know, on its journey back, because I didn't put enough money in yet. And of course that's how claw machines work, but it's just funny that it's not obfuscated at all. Hello.

As an old fella coming up a different route than me, I'm gonna let him go up ahead of me so it isn't that to listen to me talk to myself. Yeah, like in the Japan ones, it's at least a little bit hidden. Everybody knows that's how it works, that you only get proper grip strength on the claw 10:00 every once in a while. But it's so obvious with these ones. It just zips over, goes down, perfectly grabs, comes up, wings itself open, says fuck you. But I was gonna keep trying because I'm like, hey, I do need the stupid toilet paper. But I only had three of those 10 coins and it wouldn't take the 50 coin. There's probably a coin changer machine somewhere, but I was like, hey, whatever, it was an excuse to try it. I got to try the machine. I got to see how the claw works.

It's like a little bit fun. But I really am gonna end up putting like, you know, three or four dollars into this thing just to buy toilet paper. It's an interesting idea, but I think I better off just buy a toilet paper. But yeah, talk about getting older, right? I mean, I distinctly remember hitting a point in life when it's like, you know, the joke used to be like, oh, it's so disappointing. For Christmas or for your birthday, when you get socks and underwear. And I definitely hit a distinct point. Even before I was a traveling man where everything I own fit in a book bag, but especially after that point, where it's like, please give me socks and underwear. I need socks and underwear. I can use socks and underwear. You can't give me anything else that I need. You know, I'm an adult. I'm an adult. I can buy anything that I need. And that's when you know the magic of childhood is gone when you want socks and underwear. So I was actually kind of pleased that this claw machine had the boring grown-up machine beyond boring, like the fact that like actual toilet paper or tissue, all purpose tissue. And I'm sure when they're stuck in the machines, they're like, who the fuck would want this when you could get a one-piece keychain or something?

And it's like, there's me. I want this. But I failed. I was unable to procure the toilet paper.

So yeah, that's another sign of growing up. It's like, I don't want to be bothered with the claw machine. I don't even want to do the claw machine for something that I need. How about I play the claw machine game of going into the convenience store and just buying the thing that I need?

Yeah, this doesn't seem too bad. Considering perfectly blue sky, sun overhead, no cloud cover at all anymore. This could be a lot worse. And there's, you know, a light smattering of trees on this mountain just enough to put me in the semi-shade. Makes a big difference. See, I'm just walking up this rock path, looking down on the city, looking down on the alternate airport. It's pretty nice, pretty pretty. I guess we'll see where it goes. Nice breeze, too, actually. Yeah, this really is a pretty good day for this time of year.

That was kind of cool on my way up to the mountain here. There's the old guy that I saw earlier. He passed me, and then I just passed him, because he's just up here doing calisthenics up on the mountain, which is pretty badass. But I met a couple of folks. I met Duke from Taiwan, like Duke University.

It's how we introduced himself to me. And his friend Mike from Alabama. And he had pretty much right away the first thing we started talking about is just accents. He was saying like, yeah, I don't have that much of the Alabama accent. And it was true, only after he told me he was from Alabama. When I listened real close, it's like, oh yeah, maybe I can hear it a little, but I wouldn't have guessed.

Yeah, kind of a weird thing to talk about for the first thing to talk to somebody about that you just met on a mountain, but having a neutral accent. But yeah, I guess we've both run into that situation of being good enunciators with neutral accents helps when you're traveling.

Yeah, Duke from Taiwan was basically just wanted to know how I knew of Taiwan and Taipei specifically. I guess that must be something you'd be curious about if you're from a place when people visit. Like, oh, so why did you visit? What's the outside view of this place? So I told them the truth of just like, when I was a kid, you know, toys would say made in Taiwan. Other than that, I don't know. Taipei is just the most famous city. I had a layover at the airport here once before, you know, just that I've heard of it. That's all.

I was in the neighborhood and I heard of it. I figured no need to tell tales of like, oh, yeah, it's been my dream to come to Taiwan. It's like, no, I'll just tell them the truth.

The point is I wanted to learn about the place. I didn't really know anything before I got here. And then for places to go, Mike from Alabama recommended to me, hey, if you go to the end of the red line, there's a little extra line. You can go up there to the waterfront and stuff. 15:00 But I didn't want to tell them I already did that. I've already been up there. I just said, like, oh, sweet awesome. I will totally do that. I guess I am willing to lie to him. There's a balance of white lies. I'm a great fan of white lies. I definitely do not describe to the idea of just like, just tell it like it is. I'm just telling it like it is. I'm just telling my truth. Yeah, well, I mean, you're probably an asshole. Probably no one likes you. I'm a great fan of the white lie. If it smooths over situations, it doesn't hurt nobody.

Oh, and I showed them my metro card. I was like, look at this shit. Check out my egg shaped Hello Kitty metro card. And they were both even the guy who's from Taiwan. He's like, what the hell is that? I have never in my life seen that. I showed them the little symbol on the back, the metro card symbol. I kind of feel like showing them like they seemed really like, why is this guy claiming this is a metro card was like to look on their face. I had to turn it over and show them the little metro logo, the MRT logo. They're like, geez, that really is a metro card. What? What the heck? I was like, I know. That's exactly what I said.

Oh, this is nice. I'm up to the ridge now and I can see on both sides. So one side is the city with the 101 and affairs wheel a bit behind me. The other side is just mountains, just forested mountains, although there are still some buildings spotted around. Man, the buildings encroach so much higher up into the mountains here than most other places I've been. It's not a lot of buildings, but there's some just way the fuck up there.

That is cool. This feels like it would be like the Taiwanese version of Bananza or something like how they live on a ranch in Bananza way out in the middle of nowhere away from town. This is how it would be here if you wanted to be on your property all alone. You'd be up in the mountains.

Now, looking out beyond to the east, the city goes quite a ways, actually, because I went a bit this way before when I passed by the 101 Tower the first time and went to that big cemetery. It seems like I was kind of at the edge of town, but not from this vantage point. There's a lot more city. It keeps going and going.

There's actually an okay number of people up here at past three other people, so that's like a total of six people. Seven, including me. That's quite a bit.

Yeah, this breeze is actually awesome too. I'm glad it's windy today.

But yeah, that's one thing, Mike from Alabama. When we were done our little chit chat, he said to Duke, he's like, man, yes, we better get going because I pulled out his giant water bottle. He's like, I'm all out of water. We got to go and I showed off my spare bag. I was like, I've been there, brother. Look at this. I bought a whole second shoulder satchel to put an extra bottle of water in.

So I like Canadians and Alabama in far-flung locales coming together on a mountain top.

And from up here, I can see one of those lakes that I mentioned and this is actually a pretty small little mountain ridge. I'm on the way down again already. So this is perfect. I'll head back down and then I can go check out that lake and then farther along the brown line is another lake. Maybe I can see him both and then hop on the train and go the fuck home. That's a pretty fun little adventure. But that's not bad and I got to fill this part in, this little blank in my brain. I assume that thing I just passed. There was kind of like a rock outcropping that was a little bit of a scary cliff. I didn't really want to go out onto it anyway due to the fear of plunging and dying.

But one of the other dudes up here, he was sitting on it. So I wouldn't have been able to anyway, but that must have been Scissor Rock or Scissor's Rock. Yeah, just passed. So that was indeed Scissor's Rock.

And now I'm just on my way back down.

And it looks like there should be a path I can take pretty much perpendicular to this lake. Behoo Park is where I'm heading. 20:00 And the other lake is Dahoo Park. So yeah, we'll see. It's especially nice because there's subways all along here.

So it's a little bit of a walk to get to these places, but they all have subway stations. That's the best kind of adventure ever when you can just bail the fuck out at any time.

I just passed a huge ass spider right next to this trail where I saw some really big spiders on Yangman Shrine as well, but they were pretty far away from me. This one was close enough that I was like, oh, that's a Jaro. Hey there, Jaro. No question with the black and the yellow. That's my old friend, the Jaro Spider, bigger than ever. I think even, yeah, a mixed sense, I guess. Again, we're further south. Just everything is huge here. The Jaro Spiders, which were not small in Japan, are even bigger here. Anyway, this is fucking delightful. I thought because I was heading back down. I was like, oh, that was a short little walk. Maybe that wasn't much of a trail, but it turns out it is just that the ridge keeps going up and down and up and down and up and down.

I passed a little peak marker that said 181 meters. So that's, I guess, the general when I was here before, same thing. Sub 200. And yeah, it just keeps going up and down and up and down. And there's little rest areas kind of dotted all around that all pretty much have people in them. I haven't really stopped it. There's just some people chilling out in them, but they're almost, they feel like tree houses almost because this is such a narrow ridge and just have these little buildings built up here with little roofs. Maybe that's what they're for if you could cut in the rain or whatever.

But yeah, it just keeps heading along. I'm still only halfway to the lake. And yeah, this is beautiful. Highly recommended. Super nice. Super duper nice because yeah, actually the other part that I was at last time I was here was kind of tougher to get to and less developed and whatever. This little bit from she who station XIHU very easy to get to and very nice. And yeah, once I get to the other end of this trail, I'll still be near the brown line.

So yeah, this is very comparable to the first stage of this area that I did, but this is a lot easier to get to.

I guess I'll just mention too. I don't know that anybody listening to this really cares about the super nitty gritty specific details from episode to episode. I don't know how much anyone remembers, you know. The long term trails of things that happen in this podcast or cares, but I just feel like I should tie a bow on it just in case somebody is paying that level of attention.

That I had my little dentist odyssey where I realized one of my fillings was loose when I was in Busan. And I was pretty stressed out about it mostly because I was there's some Canadian speaking of neutral accents. It's still the out and about man, that's tough. I don't say oat na boat. I don't say oat na boat, but I do say out and about a slightly weird way. Anyway, I was concerned, I guess, just because of, again, the fear of the unknown. I was a feared of waking up one day with, because, you know, toothpaste, there's really very little worse than toothpaste. I was just afraid I would wake up one day with just crippling insane pain flaring up, you know, half of my head and then have to do emergency dentistry. So I was like, I should really try to get this looked at before anything like that can happen.

But I had very little time left in Busan. Then I did go try to see a dentist on Jeju. I got to Jeju and I caught a little cold so I didn't go right away. Then when I did go, the dentist had just passed away, which is a disturbing and strange situation. So and I thought when I get to Taipei, I'll worry about it again when I'm here. But I guess it's been long enough now that I've realized as long as I am super duper careful and really clean my mouth carefully multiple times a day, which I do. So I think I'm okay basically.

There's the lake getting closer to the lake. I wonder, I mean, the lake is not that big. Nothing really that special about it. Should I bail out of this walking path just to go see that lake? I say nay, if this path keeps going, I'm going to stay on the path.

Basically, I mean, obviously the smart thing to do would still be to try to go to a dentist and get this sorted out. If I wait all the way till I'm back to my original dentist, I mean, it's going to be months and months from now. 25:00 But I'm not very worried about sudden, insane toothpaste pain anymore. And I just feel the whole time ever since the dentist stuff came up, I've just felt so nervous about it in a way that I can't even put my finger on. Part of it is just the fear of the unknown having to go to some weird office and deal with people and not my own language. Depending on where I go and just the whole process, I've never been to a dentist besides my hometown. Something about it just, I have a definite worry and I don't know if it's just generalized worry or if there's something deep down that's like, what if I don't know? What if something goes wrong with the dentist? Like all of that just seems so much more comfortable back home. If I have a problem with the dentistry, I can just go back to my dentist and we can sort it out. What happens if something goes weird with my dentistry here? Do I go back to that same dentist to try to fix it? Or do I go to a different dentist and then have to try to, I don't know, I just, I feel very uncomfortable about having that kind of work done. Outside of my home territory. And I don't know if it is just generalized anxiety about the unknown and just doing something I've never done before. Or if it's like legit, like maybe I should be worried. Maybe I'm opening myself up to a lot of potential dentistry issues when I could just wait till I get home. Now that I realize that I can almost certainly wait till I get home with very little danger, it just feels like that's, I'm just gonna, that's just what I'm gonna do. I'm just gonna wait. I just don't want to go to the dentist in a foreign country, I don't want to do it.

So if I wake up one day with debilitating tooth pain, shame on me, but I really don't think so at this point. I'm pretty confident things will be okay. So I just thought I'd mention that just, just to tie a bow on the dentist's story.

Yeah, I mean, even for example, as strange as it was to go to the dentist's office and the poor guy just passed away, what if, I mean, it'd be even weirder, what if I went to see him a week before that? What if I got started on the process and then he passed away? Even just that. Man, you know, like in a way, I feel like that whole thing was just a sign of like, yeah, this is just a taste of just, there's so many variables and so much weird stuff that could happen by going to some dentist. You don't know anything about in some other country.

Maybe it would just be fine. There's lots of medical tourism in the world. People go to other countries to get stuff done all the time. But I don't do. I'm never, it's never even crossed my mind. All I can think about is the potential problems that could happen and then just how much easier any issue would be to deal with back home.

Because, yeah, even just, I mean, just yesterday, I branched out just a little bit at the Family Mart, where I just got a steamed bun. I don't get them that often in Japan because usually you have to point and ask the person. And, again, it's just crazy in Japan how difficult it is to communicate. You can push your finger right up to the glass and be, for all intents and purposes, touching the steamed bun that you want, and sometimes that's not enough to make it clear what you want. Again, my theory is that Japan they're just uncomfortable with proceeding if they're not 100% sure they understand what you want. They're not really fans of inferring. So here at the Taipei Family Mart, it was self-serve. So I got the thing by myself, but still the lady said something. And I don't know what. All I could guess was maybe there's a deal, a buy-to-whatever deal, or get a drink deal. There's a lot of those around. Maybe she was asking about that. The little bag, the little paper bag that I put the thing in was actually at the other end of the counter. It wasn't near the steamed bun. I was like, I don't know. Maybe that wasn't even the right bag. Maybe I put it in the wrong thing. All I could literally all I could say to the lady is, I don't know. I did a shrug and she just rang it up. I have no idea what she was asking about or why she stopped and was trying to... I don't know. And that's just to buy a steamed bun. You know? I just had the idea of having to break through a communication barrier when you're dealing with your teeth. What an unpleasant thought. What a scary idea. I hate that idea. I hate that thought. So anyway, I'm pretty sure I can put it off. I guess, if not, shame on me. I'm going to learn a painful lesson, but it seems like it'll be all right. So anyway, there we go.

Wrapping up the dentistry story, the dentistry subplot. And here's some people sitting at a little bench at a crossroads. Yeah, I've still continued to pass a good number of people. I guess probably because this path is so accessible and not super duper high and you can just get to it from various spots on the brown line. 30:00 Makes sense. Makes sense that there would be people here because yeah, it's nice and easy to get to.

So that was pretty cool. The path, I guess the best way easiest way to describe it is just east of scissors rock. There's a little green dot path on Google Maps that eventually just disappears. It just stops. But in real life, the path it does keep going. But it's kind of appropriate that the Google map dot stop because it stops being like a proper path with signs and stuff. It just becomes a little path through the mountains. And then I followed that and just came out in a random parking lot behind an apartment building. And I'd overshot the lake a bit, Lake Bihu, which it turns out means the emerald lake. The other lake, it's too fucking far. It's farther than it looks. It's like three or four stops from here, three or four subway stops, which is a long way to walk out and foot when it's hot as fucking you've been hiking through the mountains already. So never mind, never mind that this will do. But yeah, I came into this place and I kept following signs for the scenic outlook. They follow like three signs to this supposed scenic outlook. There's a bunch of people up here walking their dogs and stuff, but I don't see shit. I think it's just too much overgrowth this time of year. Maybe you could see the lake when there's less foliage, but I can't see shit. So I'm still just trying to get to the lake. I just want to at least set eyes on this lake. Take a gander at this lake. I don't know how to get there.

Yeah, this is a nice little day, a nice little hike. I think I did make the right choice. Hot, but not insane today.

This was just the right length of a hike for this kind of weather. And I did also just crack open. It's not only did I have my bottle of water. I also had a big bottle of a, I got tea this time, British style milk tea. Drank both of those and yeah, just cracked open the back up bottle of water, the second bottle of water from my dedicated water satchel. And that's a good feeling compared to the opposite feeling of trying to meter out the liquids and being concerned that they're going to run out. That's not a good feeling. Open in a brand new bottle and just crack it open. Nice and lukewarm.

Good old water though, man. It's like Bill Hicks had a bit about that, about people who say they don't want to drink water. It's like it's fucking water. There's nothing better coming. You're railing against water right now. It's wrong with you.

All right, here's like a little park. Oh, there it is. Shit. It's like an optical illusion. I somehow just didn't see the lake even though it was right in front of me. Cool. Yeah, very small lake. Pretty small lake. Supposedly emerald, but not at this time of day. It's like past five o'clock now. Not bad though. Just as a bonus, as a little bonus, why not? Oh, yeah, there's a little bridge on the other side. People strolling around. See, yeah, maybe I'll just go take a little stroll around the lake, hop in the train, get my ass out of here.

Yeah, it's a pretty delightful little day. I liked it. I guess nothing much else to say. Just a nice little day. Another nice little day in Taipei. Met some people on the mountain, had a little chit chat that doesn't happen every day, so that's kind of cool.

Let's bring this one to a close man. I'm looking forward to getting to a convenience store and buying a popsicle. Yeah, because I really did buy, I don't think I ever bought a popsicle in Japan, which I mean makes sense the time you were there. It wasn't exactly popsicle weather. And in South Korea, you know, I could find stuff that I liked, but the only one I loved was the plum popsicle, which was often not there. Taiwan, man, I mean, it's, you never quite know what's going to be there. It's always random. But there's like four different popsicles that are all quite premium. At least one of them is going to be there. There's the, oh no, I forgot the name. The candy that looks like old school bonkers. So it's like a purple popsicle with kind of a gummy white interior. Damn, what are those called?

Anyway, that's delicious. The first thing that I found, the coconut bar that has little bits of tropical fruit in it, that's fucking delicious. 35:00 There's at least two different brands of green plum bars that aren't as good as the South Korea version, but are still really good. And then there's just the milk bar. I guess it's almost vanilla. I guess you could basically call it vanilla, but it's just kind of a milk flavored popsicle. Because you can also get it in strawberry and chocolate, just like milk, but just the plain white milk version is just nice. It's just a real nice bar. Because it's not technically vanilla. It's just, you know, it's like whole milk, that kind of flavor where there's, you know, enough fat in it and stuff. I don't know specifically what this bar is made of, but it's like homogenized milk, the ice cream bar. Really fucking good. So between those, there's bound to be something. And I feel like I've tried other things even. I mean, there's all kinds of stuff. There's other stuff that's okay, but those are the tippity top. Those are the best ones, I think.

It has actually a pretty nice little lake. Now that I'm down here, just walking around it for just a nice random city lake. Right next to a hiking trail, not too shab, not too shabby.

This would be a great, you know, when I think about myself as an old man, I would definitely like to be near a mountain hiking trail. It's my favorite way to stay in shape. And in my fantasies, you know, I'm kind of on the outskirts, kind of a semi in the middle of nowhere. But that's probably not a great idea. If you are an old person, you kind of need to be closer to civilization. This is probably a better situation. What if I lived in one of these apartment buildings or something? I could come out here, stroll around the lake, head up to the little mountain path, and then I'm always quite near a subway stop. Pretty optimal. Unfortunately, my whole trouble is I assume I'll just be in Canada in my old age, and there's just... I mean, I guess the west coast is my only option to be sort of nearish a city and mountains at the same time. I don't know where else I can pull that shit off. I mean, I guess I could just go to Montreal and hike up Mount Royal, but that's like not... That's really not good enough. That's not a real mountain. No offense, Montreal. It's just a big bump in the middle of the city. But who knows? Maybe. Maybe an old beggar can't be a chooser. We'll see.

But anyway, why am I talking about that? I ain't old yet. I'm worried about that when it comes. Thank you for listening. I'll see you next episode, Adios.